i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
