every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have already put on my inside pants.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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