I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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