I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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