I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
