Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.

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(405): I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account. http://tfl.nu/7g5v

Replies (21) Good night (1324) Bad night (689)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"

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(414): I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?" http://tfl.nu/89sw

Replies (9) Good night (973) Bad night (3665)
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(928): View more from Arizona

Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".

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(928): Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". http://tfl.nu/7v4e

Replies (56) Good night (31158) Bad night (1897)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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(502): I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore http://tfl.nu/n25p

Replies (37) Good night (6775) Bad night (1482)
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(760): View more from California

i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.

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(760): i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/v98w

Replies (3) Good night (2282) Bad night (933)
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(281): View more from Texas

Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.

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(281): Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers. http://tfl.nu/dra4

Replies (7) Good night (3876) Bad night (863)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.

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(570): I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT. http://tfl.nu/iw7k

Replies (5) Good night (2394) Bad night (757)
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(409): View more from Texas

You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off

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(409): You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off http://tfl.nu/0o0c

Replies (9) Good night (732) Bad night (1232)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.

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(501): You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed. http://tfl.nu/yh1d

Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (510)
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(647): View more from Ontario

One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.

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(647): One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/axc4

Replies (5) Good night (875) Bad night (439)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman

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(+44): Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman http://tfl.nu/09hv

Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (326)
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(319): View more from Iowa

I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.

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(319): I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it. http://tfl.nu/c71w

Replies (3) Good night (799) Bad night (489)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Go christen that room with your naked body.

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(404): Go christen that room with your naked body. http://tfl.nu/ofzi

Replies (0) Good night (694) Bad night (353)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015

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(606): I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015 http://tfl.nu/1f2y

Replies (5) Good night (189) Bad night (178)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.

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(505): While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward. http://tfl.nu/1ura

Replies (3) Good night (511) Bad night (166)

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