My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just found a bag of teeth...
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting