I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
