I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
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I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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