Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?