I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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