i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
