Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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