But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
