My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
