omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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