I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
