Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize