i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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