I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
