my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
