Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
