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I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
