Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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