Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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