Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
