I must be too annoying 4 u.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
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She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize