Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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