So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Boobs speak an international language.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
