why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
