I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
