it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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