Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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