It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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