I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize