not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
