I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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