i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
