and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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