I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
