Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
