Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
