You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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