I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
