I just made out with a guy for $7.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
