i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Mom said you looked used
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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