so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
