i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
