I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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