I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
