You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
