we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
