I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
