I didn't shave. On purpose
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
