The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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