I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
