A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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