but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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