Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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