i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
