There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize