Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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