Kiss
Puke
Duck Duck Cougar?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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