I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
