tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
im six kinds of drunk right now
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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