Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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