that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize