Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
