Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
