He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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