My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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