she was so not down for the gang bang
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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