you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
