i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
