And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize