I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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