you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
